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There's a story we tell ourselves in recovery.
That the loneliness will go away once we build a new social circle. Once we find a sober community. Once we get back into dating, or back into the world, or back into our own life.
So we wait for the outside to change. And sometimes it does — and ...
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"You will find your way or lose your way through anchoring into the WHY you want to stop. Breakthroughs or breakdowns happen."
Hey y'all,
If you're reading this and you've made it to week ten, I need to stop and tell you something before we go any further:
You're a warrior.
I'm not being hype...
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"Exhaustion, distraction, and loss of interest sets in. The energy it's taking to NOT use becomes draining and veering from the path sets in."
Hey y'all,
I need to be honest with you before we start this one: Part 3 (Find Part 1 and Part 2) of this series is the one I wish someone had handed ...
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"Hopeful to try something new, excited about possibilities, new resolve to quit."
Hey y'all,
This is the first in a series of newsletters where I'm going to walk you through what I call the 12-Week Upward Spiral of chemsex recovery—a map I created after years of working with gay men in chemse...
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Sitting in a circle with 8 heterosexual people of various genders, none of whom with a history of crystal methamphetamine use.Â
Working with drug counselors who had never heard the word "Tina" before.
That was my treatment experience. Also, my probation experience. Also, my drug court experien...
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Can you remember who you were before you tried meth (or meph or monkey dust)?Â
I remember me.
The man who thought coming out of the closet was the answer to my pain.Â
The man who imprinted onto every man who showed him attention.Â
The man who wrapped anger and resentment around him like a hea...
You know that feeling, right?
You turn every corner trying to get substance-free, trying to build a better life, and there's just... another wall. Another setback. Another slip. Another disappointment.
You're doing everything "right" - going to meetings, working steps, seeing your therapist, whi...
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You know you need to quit. You've known for a while now.
You can see what crystal is costing you—the relationships damaged, the opportunities missed, the version of yourself that keeps slipping further away.
You've had moments of clarity where you think, "This is it. I'm done. Tomorrow I'm goi...
Hey y'all,
Breaking free of the notion that recovery (or healing or life in general) is a linear process was the most impactful perspective shift of my journey.
When I viewed the process as a spiral, it created space for self-compassion, awareness, and a deeper level of preparedness.Â
When you d...
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"I don't trust myself."
One of the most common limiting beliefs I see among the men who come to me for help. Sometimes this is a literal spoken sentence, and other times it's a clear message based on behavior.Â
Either way, it's rooted in shame and resignation, like it's an indictment of their ...
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One of the greatest gifts crystal methamphetamine gave me was the understanding of boundaries.
I wasn't shown boundaries as a child.Â
I never knew how to create boundaries as an adult.
And in my active meth use, that gap in understanding was exploited by the chemical.
For example, whenever som...
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It's December 29th.
You know what's coming.
In three days, millions of people will wake up, hungover or not, and make sweeping declarations about who they're going to become:
"This year, I'm going to the gym five times a week."
"This year, I'm quitting substances for good."
"This year, I'm fin...
