Hey y'all,
My estimation is that 90% of the men I work with are slaves to the voice of their inner critic.
It isn't enough to be told by the external world that we aren't good enough, but we also walk around with that message being whispered in our ear.
The mistake that 99% of this 90% make is vilifying this voice. They feel anger and resentment toward it, essentially turning against a natural part of themselves.
The solution in recovery is to embrace, observe, and find love for this voice and give it a new way of helping.
To illustrate how that can be accomplished, I'm going to use another client example:
Let's talk about Michael (not his real name).
He had been substance-free for five months, had a thriving career, a healthy relationship, and was hitting the gym regularly. By every external measure, he was "doing recovery right."
But as our coaching relationship was coming to an end, he lamented: "I have everything I thought I wanted, but I still feel like I'm waiting for permission to actually enjoy my life."
That hit me hard because I knew exactly what he meant. And if you're reading this, I'm betting you do too.
The Voice That Never Sleeps
Here's what Michael couldn't see yet: he had stopped using crystal, but he hadn't stopped punishing himself.
The drug was gone, but the internal drill sergeant was still there, running 24/7 commentary.
You could have done that better.
Don't get too comfortable.
You're one mistake away from losing everything.
Remember what you did?
You don't deserve to feel good.
Sound familiar?
