What a miserable existence. Feeling unhappy and constantly triggered for your entire life.
That was my reality.
I can remember feeling sad as a boy into my early adulthood. I mean, the pictures prove it:
I always believed as soon as I had "that", life would feel happy. "That" was never enough and a moving target.
Fast-forward to coming out and entering into my first relationship.
Finally, I can be happy.
Boy, was I poorly mistaken.
I got what I wanted, but it came at a price. I wasn't ready.
After 15 months of grueling agony, it became clear the relationship came into my life to point out the deep wounds still needing attention.
Those same deep wounds that drove me to unhappiness as a teenager, young adult, and father. And now as a gay man.
I realize now that getting what I want almost always comes with a price.
What I always wanted was happiness.
After coming out, the route to that state of being, in my mind, was a rainbow trail of hearts and glitter.
But my mind is a limited human brain.
The real route to that state of being was heartache, disappointment, and meth addiction.
Those experiences catalyzed my healing, so there was no more of "that" I was seeking.
I attained happiness within.
My smile today is brought to you by hardship, especially meth use.
I'm sitting here tonight thinking about you.
Yes, YOU specifically – the guy who's wondering if his relationship with crystal meth is actually leading somewhere meaningful or if it's just a cosmic joke at your expense.
But, consider for a moment: what if this entire experience – yes, even the darkest, most shame-filled moments – is/was actually a divine invitation?
There's this profound understanding that nothing in our lives is random.
Nothing.
And those hardest parts?
They're not punishment. They're preparation.
So many of you are right on the cusp of leaving meth behind.
But you won't let it go!
You won't let go of the shame.
I'm dirty and gross.
I'm just a meth addict.
Why did this happen to me?
What did I do to deserve this?
Why can't I live an easy life like everyone else?
You are keeping yourself stuck with these questions.
You are second-guessing the divine curriculum of your life.
Let it go.
Allow for the purpose of your meth use to rise, embrace it, and embody the freedom that comes from integrating the lessons.
A meth experience is just a life experience.
ALL of them are here for your best and highest.
ALL of them are here to push you toward your fullest potential.
And you will be pushed until you let go and allow.
I help gay men break free from the addictive patterns of chemsex (Tina) and become their best and highest selves. My 1:1 coaching, Recovery Alchemy, is a six-month intense program that can literally change your life. I accept 2 new clients per month. Apply Here.
Ok, if this sounds crazy to you, now it's time for me to convince you.
Here are five sacred reasons your crystal meth experience may have been called forth AND real-life examples of men who had to face suffering to rise to success:
1. The Light Disguised as Darkness
The brightest light must be concealed in the deepest darkness.
