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The Sober Relapse

Sep 08, 2025
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Six years meth-free.

Helping other men transform their lives.

Operating a globally downloaded podcast. 

Bootstrapping a successful coaching business.  

On paper, I was the recovery success story everyone wanted to be.

But one Tuesday afternoon, sitting at my desk between client calls, my hands were shaking. 

The same way they used to when I needed a hit—except now I needed validation.

A client had hung up on me and demanded to leave the program.

My entire sense of self-worth had been wrapped up in my clients' responses and approval of my abilities. 

I took off out the door and into the woods behind my house, realizing the brutal truth: I was still addicted to validation.

The same nervous system that once craved crystal was now craving approval from my clients.

The same brain that once planned elaborate schemes to get drugs was now planning elaborate strategies to be the perfect success story.

The same emotions I once numbed with meth were now being numbed with busyness, people-pleasing, and the dopamine hit of helping others heal.

I had traded one dealer for another—except now my dealer was the entire recovery industrial complex, and my drug was external validation.

Take away the meth, you still have all the shit underneath that led you to meth in the first place. 


The Performance Sobriety Trap

Here's what nobody tells you about recovery: putting down the substance doesn't automatically heal the wounds that drove you to use.

Those wounds normally manifest as limiting beliefs we have accepted as our truth. 

My belief was "I am only as good as my clients' feedback." 

Peter Crone, known as the Mind Architect, maintains that every one of us carries limiting beliefs. These beliefs are asking us to heal some wounds so that we can live free. 

After decades of working with thousands of people, he has distilled all limiting beliefs into what he calls ten subconscious prisons. 

Those same subconscious prisons that created your addiction are still running the show—they just find new, socially acceptable outlets.

How the Ten Prisons Show Up in Recovery:


I help gay men break free from the addictive patterns of chemsex (Tina) and become their best and highest selves. My 1:1 coaching, Recovery Alchemy, is a six-month, intense program that can literally change your life. I accept 2 new clients per month. Apply Here. 


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